How to Propose or How Not to Propose, That is the Question

When I decided to dedicate a blog on how to propose to your partner, I was amazed at how many articles are already out there, I even bumped into several slide shows and picture story boards on how to propose. Reading through the articles one by one, I noticed one huge missing gap; none of of the authors seems to have looked at at from the perspective of a (female) engagement ring designer. Being a true romantic at heart, designing and creating engagement rings is one of my main reasons for ever starting this business! Plus having had the added experience of being a woman who was proposed to not once but twice in a way that I aim to bury this memory rather than treasure it, gives me not only some added advantage but also plenty of writing material for this blog.

So this one is dedicated to all you men out there that have decided to pop that one very important yet oh so simple question, and receiving a confident YES! Now the trick is to do this in such a way that you accomplish this task with A) bringing her to tears (of joy I would hope) B) have her tell this story to all her friends and family in such a way that you come out like the hero and perfect boyfriend, and C) she says YES!!

I have a feeling you are now expecting me to lay out THE perfect storyboard of how to plan THE perfect proposal, unfortunately this is the point at which I’ll tell you that there is no such standard “tick list” for you to simply work your way through. The reason this woman is the ONE for you is the exact reason no-one else you’ve met up until now has been the ONE; because there is only ONE of her! And as rare and unique as she is, this what your proposal should ultimately reflect.

I do however have some valuable tips I’d love to share with you that will help you a great deal as to how to create your own proposal plan. So let’s not waste any more time and let’s get down to business!

  1. Love Language; this is simply said the way in which you communicate your love for each other. By learning and understanding her Love Language you will understand how it is that she wishes for you to express your love for her. The old concept of simply saying “I Love You” every now and then simply doesn’t work for most women as it can become as automated as saying “good morning” and “how are you” to your colleagues at work. No, her Love Language is all those little acts that make her feel you really “see”, “value” and “hear” her. This can be anything from taking the time to DM her a funny meme or video on her Instagram from an account or a topic you know she likes, to taking her to that one restaurant that she’s been telling (i.e. in female language this is hinting) you about for ages, send or give her her favorite flowers or plant, take her to see a movie she really wants to watch. I think you get where I am going with this. This list goes on and on and that is exactly where the fun lies! It is the ultimate and infinite game of discovering this beautiful woman and discovering ways to make her smile and expressing your Love Language to her! It is also this Love Language where you will find your answer as to how to plan your proposal, where to do this and how. Which leads us perfectly onto number 2.
  2. Make it About Her; this is the day most women that have a wish to get married have been dreaming about. It is one of those moments in her life where she gets to experience the world evolving around her, so make sure it is about her and not you. Of course we want you to look the hero in this story, but as long as you put the focus and attention on her for that day or moment, you will be sure to come out the hero every time she tells the story of how you proposed in the years still ahead (and believe me, this is a story most women LOVE to tell other people about!
  3. Communicate; the basis for any good relationship and marriage is communication. There is actually someone very close to you who knows exactly how to plan this proposal; HER! So don’t be shy to bring the topic up and simply ask her to open up and to share her thoughts on what is important to her should you one day propose to her. If you are brave enough to open the gates of communication with her on this, be sure not to catch her unexpectedly with this question (some men do have a habit of finding the worst timing to bring ups deep topics). You can even stage this conversation by asking the question and giving her the time to come back to you with an answer. For those of you that worry about spoiling the surprise, this is also a topic that can be staged during a night out or casual dinner with friends where the topic is raised in the group rather than a one-on-one.
  4. The Ring; just like the similarly named famous Japanese horror movie, this word alone can instill many a men with a deep sense of fear and sweaty palms! I will not lie, this one really is truly something you will have to get right. The icing on the cake of your proposal is after al the ring. She will be wearing this for the rest of her live and is seen as the (very visible) symbol of her value to her. This does not necessarily mean that you have to buy her the most expensive ring out there nor the biggest diamond or gemstone, but it does mean that it should match her wishes and expectations. Rings are such a personal item, especially one she will be wearing every single day from your proposal onwards, that making sure it matches her wishes and fits comfortably is a must! This is again is a point I would suggest to communicate about, ask her to share some designs and styles of rings she likes with you. The more open you can be about this subject the more success you’ll both have in finding or creating the right ring for her. Once you are ready to start shopping or creating the ring, simply share these images and info with your ring designer. Making sure you select the right gemstone and style is something your ring designer is there for!
  5. Nails; as an engagement ring designer and woman this is a point that no one seems to mention. In the old days the first thing a woman would do after being popped the question is phone her parents and/or best friend(s) to share the good news. In this day and age the first thing a woman does is take a selfie with the ring on and share in via her social media or WhatsApp. This picture is almost as important as the proposal itself, it’s her official announcement to the world of your happy news! For a woman who is into having her nails done regularly, this close up photo will feature her nails, and she will want those to look perfect for the occasion! So if you have a partner that values her nail art consider taking this into account when planning the proposal date. There are two tips I can share with you to make sure you match this up; 1) you plan the proposal into a date to match with her having just had her nails done (I would recommend a 1-3 day window for this) or 2) offer to pay for her next nail treatment so that you will literally know exactly when she will have this done as well as set the right tone for the mood (who doesn’t like getting a nail treatment gifted, right ladies?).
  6. The Speech; so now that you have planned the perfect proposal and chosen the right ring there’s only one small details left: the speech. So what do you say? Well I can’t give you the exact script for this but I can tell you that ideally you should keep it a nice length, sincere and from your heart. Most of us ladies do not expect a long serenade or handwritten poem but we would like for you to open your heart to us in your speech, sharing your WHY as for choosing HER to spend the rest of your life with. So rather than focussing on the length of the speech, focus on keeping it real. For those of you that have fear of public speech, consider writing it down and simply read it to her. The importance is that you use your speech as a beautiful introduction to asking those four magical words and presenting the ring to her.
  7. Have FUN; as much as you want to want everything to go exactly as planned and be perfect in every way, don’t let it take away from being able to enjoy this special moment together. Enjoy every moment leading up to the moment you’ve been planning for and cherish it for the beautiful memory it will become in all those years ahead, together. So when the moment has arrived, relax those shoulders and take some time to pause & breathe; this is as much your moment as it is her, so simply go with the flow and enjoy this precious moment with your beloved!

I hope this article has helped you with your proposal plan and given you some ideas of how to execute it as best as possible. For more help on choosing or designing your engagement ring, feel free to email me on anouk@novadiamondsjewelry.com to schedule in a video consultancy slot to discuss ideas and options.

Anouk @Nova Diamonds

Born & raised in the birthplace of the diamond trade, Amsterdam, and in a traditional Jewish family, I had been surrounded by diamonds and gemstones pretty much from birth. One of my earliest memories if where my grandma used to take me to mineral & gemstone trade shows and it is exactly there where my curiosity and passion for working with crystal and gems was born. Over the years I developed a solid foundation of knowledge on gemstones and crystals, as well as working with them for energetic and healing purposes.

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